


Please Remember

by Lunicwriting



Category: South Park
Genre: Crying.. lots of course crying, Dreams, Fluff, Hints of kyman bc why not, M/M, butters hasn’t no idea what isn’t happening haha, kenny is such a sweetheart, ok no they’re just being sweeties lol, they fucc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 18:05:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15756960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunicwriting/pseuds/Lunicwriting
Summary: Kenny is heartbroken that Butters never remember them being a couple after his deaths, and starts to think it's pointless in trying to keep a relationship going when they have to start over almost every day. And Butters keeps having weird dreams about Kenny dying, to the point where it starts to affect his daily life.





	Please Remember

**Author's Note:**

> It's about time I start writing Bunny fanfics! They've always been a side-couple in my stories, but since they are my second favorite ship, I need to have a fanfic dedicated to them! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

He knew about this. He knew exactly what would happen and when, sometimes the scenery was different but it all lead up to the same thing.

Kenny would die.

At least he thought it was Kenny. he could never clearly see his face but a familiar feeling told him it was his close friend in the orange parka.

He also knew it was a dream.

But it was one of those really vivid dreams, his feelings felt so real and for a long time after waking up it felt like his heart wanted to leap out of his chest from all confusing feelings messing around in his head.

When was the time he woke up without tears in his eyes? When was the last time he woke up without wanting to run to that rundown house his friend lived in to see his face and make sure he was okay, safe at home in bed?  He had heard people say that if you knew it was a dream you would be able to control it, but couldn't anyone tell him  _ how _ ?

At the sight of Kenny his heart felt broken, his brain didn't know how to avoid the repeated outcome. It always terrified him it would end the same way, to the point his legs felt flozen to the ground, his mouth felt glued together as if his body and brain were completely separated and couldn't work together. He -for gods sake-   _ knew  _ Kenny would die. His brain and conscious screamed at Kenny to move his goddamn feet, to see the danger he was in that he could avoid if he just  _ did _ something!

It annoyed him to no end how his body still seemed relaxed, as if what he knew were to happen didn't affect his outer appearance at all.

Sometimes it all acted out in different locations, mostly around South Park, probably because he knew those streets the best. He would be with some friends and Kenny, friends could changed but Kenny would always be there with him, talking about something he couldn't always hear but felt like he already knew exactly what the conversation was about, he knew where they were to go and which people they would meet and pass by. Nothing was new, maybe because the dream always seems to be a almost complete re-play how his day had gone, except from seeing his friend's death over and over and over. 

Tonight it was the time he had been with Kenny and his friends; Stan, Kyle and Cartman. 

They were all out in the cabin Stan's uncle owned and with them were a gun. It didn't seem threatening and all the boys just laughed and played around, though Kyle still joined them with jokes he also seemed to take it on as his responsibility to make sure nothing too dangerous happened, he seemed especially on edge when Cartman held the weapon but was constantly assured with “It's okay” and “I've got it under control”. 

It was clear what would happen, and Butters wanted to take Kenny away from this place before it all played out.

His body didn't  obey though, he was enjoying seeing his friends have fun even when the worry grew in him.

_ Now. _

_ Now. _

_ Now. _

He found himself to think. His eyes always darted to the parka clad boy of the group, who sat close to him with a big smile, even as Cartman did the stupid thing as to unsecure the gun. 

Kyle was openly against it, trying to grab the gun away from the bigger boy who refused to hand it over. Stan had started to side with his best friend, saying Cartman went to far.

A chill froze Butters nerves completely. His eyes opened wide and he knew before anything happened.

With a big mischievous smirk and confident eyes Cartman pulled up the gun, pointing it straight at the blonde boy right next to Butters.

The bullet couldn't miss the target this close.

Before Kyle and Stan could comprehend what was happening, what Cartman was doing and how to react, Cartman said,

_ “Watch.” _

A quiet  _ click  _ caused a loud noise followed by tearing flesh and breaking bone.

Petrified, Butters could feel how the life next to him ended in seconds, his breath stuck in his lungs and his heart dunked heavily in his chest. A ringing, dead tone in his ears voiced out Kyle's scream and a blurred vision hazed over Stan's statued body with wide open eyes. He didn't want to look at the lifeless doll next to him, already feeling its weight leaning onto his shoulders.

 

A yell woke him up, immediately his eyes opened up to his ceiling in his own room. His heart raced quickly, and his cheeks felt wet with tears running down. Butters pyjamas sticked to his back from sweat.

No matter how many times he'd seen it, somehow it always felt like a surprise and he felt disconnected from his body.

Never had one of his friend's been the one to kill Kenny, that was the only new thing. 

_ It was a dream. _

He told himself over and over. His eyes stared wide to the point of hurting.

A few minutes slowly dragged by without him moving, until his alarm clock told him it was time to get up and ready for school. A shaky hand weakly pulled his tired body up to sitting position, then reaching out to turn of the shouting alarm hurting his ears. Just as he turned it off he heard his mom call him on the other side of the door as she usually did, calling him down for breakfast. 

“Y-yeah! I'm coming!” He called back, successfully without his voice sounding broken or teared.

“Yeah, it was only a dream.” He whispered, closing his eyes and trying to take down his tense shoulders.

_ Kenny will be in school today. _

__

In the corridors of the school, Butters saw the group with all four members. A relieved sigh at the sight of seeing Kenny, looking no different from yesterday, filled Butters with a much more comforting feeling that the one he woke up with.

Kenny saw the blonde, slender boy a bit away and shone up, his hand waving for him to come and join them.

A immediate smile stretched Butters mouth as he walked up to them.

“Hey, Butters.” Kenny greeted, playfully wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulders, pulling him close. 

Butters never minded the constant body-contact Kenny gave, and he had especially started to appreciate it ever since those dreams hunted him. It gave him some reassurance of him still being there with them.

“Hi, Ken.” Butters cheered, his smile broadening as he looked into the darker blue eyes. 

“It's not my fault! Stan was the one who brought the freakin gun, dude! Don's let your gay love distort the truth!” 

Cartman and Kyle seemed to already start the first of many arguments of the day, giving Butters nothing more than a sullen feeling immediately. He looked at the scene for a while.

“What're they fighting about now?” Butter asked. Kenny looked down at the shorter boy and shrugged.

“You know yesterday, how Cartman accidentally fired the gun close to me, right? Well, Kyle's still pissed at him for being stupid and want's to blame Cartman for it, but” Kenny stretched the word, “Cartman blames Stan for showing it to us and I guess I'm blaming everyone for not realizing that a gun close to Cartman can't end up any other way than problematic,” Kenny grimaced, watching as his friends all argued for their own truths. 

Butters tried to ignore the chill he felt, and the squeezing feeling around his heart. “B-But nothing happened, right? You're okay.” It was more a way to still make himself sure nothing bad happened that time. 

Kenny gave him a questioning look, “You were there, weren't you? Don't you remember?”

Butters took a second too long to answer, the dreams felt jumbled with reality,”I do.” He said short, earning a raised eyebrow from Kenny.

“Dude,” Kenny turned Butters around, facing him,”You look like shit.” 

“That's rude, Ken.” Butters pouted.

Kenny crocked his head in a nonchalant way, thinking he might just be imagining things. 

“Though,” Butters added, “I've not been sleeping well the last weeks.”

He didn't want to bring up all of the dreams he'd been having, but saying he'd been losing sleep isn't something unusual, right?

“Then I might be able to tire you out?” Kenny said, giving a flirtatious wink complimented with a smile.

“Ken, you can't stop dreams to-” he bit his lip to stop himself to say more. 

“Aw,” Kenny pulled him closer,” bad dreams?”

It might not have meant to come off as being looked down on but Kenny had a tendency to treat him somewhat like a child.

He glared back at him,”It's nothing.” He said, turning away from the darker blonde and tuned in to what the other was talking about.

“Cartman, for the last fucking time, you know Stan has a girlfriend and I'm not gay.” 

The gun-related discussion had apparently quickly turned into some sort of relationship bickering. 

“Just because he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he won't be getting it on with you!”

Stan interrupted before Kyle exploded,” Guys, seriously. The first lesson hasn't even started and you’re already fighting? Just, fucking chill.”

Cartman and Kyle both glared at the raven haired boy with a strong feeling to tell Stan to not get involved. Stan sighed, closed his locker and wondered if he should just walk away.

Seeing Cartman like this actually made the uneasy feeling in Butters grow a bit. He couldn't stop thinking back at his wicked smile before firing the gun, and he still just wanted to drag Kenny away from him.

“Hey, Buttercup.” 

Butters frowned at the nickname Kenny had started using recently, it just seemed weird and he didn't know where it came from or how it started, and he didn't bother to ask since it didn't hurt anyone.

“Mmmh?”

Kenny inspected his face, “I'm not kidding. If you can't sleep, it might be more comfortable to have someone next to you.” Kenny's voice weren't as playful and it just sounded ernest and concerned,”I might not be able to stop the dreams, but, you know,” Kenny scratched the back of his head, shrugging,” when you wake up you won't feel as lonely.” he flashed a smile. Butters also smiled back, a warm feeling spread in his body.

“Oh my god, I'm surrounded by gays, ” Cartman groaned at the sight of the two blondes. Kyle also watched them, not saying anything, except rolling his eyes at Cartman's comment.

Kenny glanced at him, as if wanting to annoy Cartman more he grabbed Butters wrist and pulled him into his chest in a swept movement, Butters felt the taller boy's  heart drum against his back.” And you think you’re not gay?” he sneered, eyeing Cartman and Kyle next to each other. Kyle shoot him daggers, feeling like he knew what Kenny's provoking look meant.

Cartman grimaced,” I haven't kissed a guy before, which is what you two have done, right?” Cartman taunted back.

“Eh?” Butters felt the arms around him turn protective, looking up he saw Kenny's eyes shoot warning signals at the bigger boy. “Eric, why do you say that? I have never-” Butters trailed off.

“Shut up, fatass.”

Kenny’s voice sounded low with a cautionary tone, the sort Butters never enjoyed hearing since it always felt it was indirectly stabbing at him even if it was meant for someone else. 

Kyle and Butters eyes met and both agreed that a certain tension filled the air, Kyle glanced at Cartman, blaming him for not shutting his mouth up.

The ginger sighed, rolling his eyes and that made the bigger boy glare at him more.”Shut up, jew,” 

“What? I didn't say anything, lard boy.”

“What the fuck did you just call me?! Stinky ginger head!”

Kenny’s eyes clearly showed by how he watched Cartman that he had a lot more to say, but since Kyle had easily gotten the rigid atmosphere to change he kept his words under control. Butters was still puzzled of what Cartman had said.

_ Kissed a boy... _

If he had done that it felt like it’d be something he wouldn't have forgotten.

Kenny’s hands around him tightened.

 

”Ken?”

Light blue eyes looked up at him, confusion visible in his entire face.

Oh God, he swallowed. Butters always had the most innocent look on him, even when he acted as fucked up as Cartman and anger had taken over. It didn't matter to him since he always enjoyed seeing how his eyebrows curled together and his eyes trying to give off a powerful glare, it only added to his interest in him. Maybe because he, himself is a bit fucked up, he guessed.

Kenny wanted to laugh it of as one of those things Cartman said as a stupid joke or something, but the words were stuck in his throat and nothing came out except a pain in his chest. He could lie about most things, make up stories so it gave him less hardship but when it came to this he only felt hurt by it. He couldn't lie, and he really didn't want to.

Kenny cursed Cartman for even mentioning the kissing part since he had promised to never, ever bring it up in front of anyone. It might be stupid to put such a trusting thing on such an idiot, but to be honest, Cartman was the closest friend he had and he actually felt he could be trusted but he also knew it didn't take much for him to reveal secrets on a whim. Pondering on what to say, Kenny found an escape when he heard Kyle informing them that the lesson were about to start.

Butters broke free from Kenny's hug and turned around and smiled, “Let's go, Ken, or we'll be late.”

 

“Hurry up, poor boy. I don't want you to be the reason for me missing lunch.” 

Cartman held his arms crossed over his chest, his foot tapped on the school toilet floor showing he just wanted to get this over with and go back to eat.

“Shut the fuck up.” Kenny went through each stall, making sure no one was there to over hear their conversation.

Luckily it seemed like they were alone so the blonde boy immediately turned to Cartman, who could see frustration shooting at him from the dark blue eyes. “We agreed to NEVER mention anything to Butters, right?! So what the fuck was that?!”

Carman was quickly up against the wall, Kenny holding his shoulders in place with a surprising strength. 

Cartman waited a second, trying to get what Kenny was upset about, when he understood he flashed a smirk,” I didn's say anything wrong, did I? I mean he has kissed a guy but I didn't say who it was.” 

Kenny fought away the urge to throw a punch at the dumb face in front of him.

“He doesn't even KNOW he has kissed a guy! Are you FUCKING with me?! You KNOW he doesn't remember! He doesn't remember anything! And I don't want you going around confusing him so just shut the fuck up!”

His voice broke as he yelled the words, it was so frustrating, annoying and hurtful to always know your boyfriend might not remember you even being a couple the day before. His shoulders shocked from anger, his eyes glaring dangerously at Cartman.

“WHY!” Cartman replied back with equal strength,” Why don't you want Butters to know about it?! If you already know you like each other then why do you hold back?!”

“You don't get it, I've managed to get together with Butters so many times, but when I die he just forgets everything again!” Kenny’s hands on Cartman's shoulders tightened, curling into fists,” and this time YOU FUCKING SHOT ME?! This is your fault!”

He hated waking up, knowing his boyfriend would have no idea they'd been together just a few hours ago. It never really was like that when he was young, but as he grew up he noticed people around him started having their memories changed or completely wiped out when they concerned him, and Butters was one of them.

He knew if he told Butters they were together it would only be confusing and he was afraid it would destroy their relationship, so he just shut up about it.

If it wasn't for Cartman, who had confronted Kenny about having memories of his deaths, he's feeling of loneliness would probably be bigger than what they were now.

“You have no need to be afraid, do you? You already know he is gay for you, so just tell him!”

“I don't want to!” Kenny cried out, his voice completely broken,” I'm tired of having to experience everything again and again.” his legs felt weak and he just wanted to fall down to the floor, but they continued to fight and stand up.

Cartman went quiet, seeing his friend actually trying to fight away tears got to him.

He had never been the “good friend”, and he was very much aware of that. But Kenny still reveals everything and explained everything the time he said he remembered him dying, over and over.

“So you're just gonna give up?” 

Cartman looked straight into Kenny's blue eyes, opening at the sound of those concluded words.

So many mixed emotions mirrored in his eyes; fear, anger and not knowing how to continue.

With a weak, toned down voice Kenny answered,” No,” He took a deep, shaky breath,”I just don't know what to do. Everytime I die, I hope for the love of fucking God that Butters will remember, at least something, from us being together.”

Kenny's head fell down, letting his hair hide his face as the first tear dropped down. His strong grip on Cartman loosened. 

“You know, well,” Cartman muttered, his eyes fixated at the ceiling,” I'm sorry for shooting you, Kenny.”

A broken chuckle came from Kenny,” Don't fucking do it again. It hurts like a bitch.”

 

Butters had no idea where Kenny was during lunch.

They usually ate together with Stan, Kyle and Cartman, who weirdly also seemed to be missing for the whole lunch period, which was something Kyle seemed to take as his chance to drag down Cartman's name as much he wanted. Stan didn't say much, instead he just listened to all the complaining Kyle spewed out and in some cases he also contributed with a sentence or two, fueling Kyle's heated talk even more. 

Butters didn't want to think about Cartman though. After the night's dream he felt like he could see a re-play of Cartman holding the cold metal gun at Kenny. Therefore he tried to not listen too much to Kyle, instead his eyes spent the entire lunch break searching after the blonde boy.

Stan noticed Butters constant looking around and knew immediately Butters was looking for Kenny, and asked if he'd answered one of the texts Butters had sent. Which he hadn't.

Non of the text had even been opened. It only let Butters go down on his thoughts when putting the situation together.

_ Cartman wasn't there _

_ Kenny wasn't there. _

His heart nearly stopped. He had to remind himself it had all just been a dream.

Sure, Cartman was a bit of an idiot and unpredictable but even he wouldn't kill his friend, right? Especially not in school. But none of the messages had been opened and Kenny usually answered within one minute. 

“No, he hasn't even opened them,” Butters informed with a toned down voice.

Kyle stopped his rant and watched the drooping eyes Butters had. It was unusual to he him so down, and it out a heavy atmosphere around everyone.

” Don't worry, dude,” Kyle put down his fork at the table, “ I’m sure he's okay.”

Butters gave a trying smile at Kyle’s attempt at encouragement, but it still felt like something was wrong.

  
  
  


“Where the hell where you guys?!” 

Kyle was quick to ask when the two missing boys walked into the classroom. His eyes squinted suspiciously at Cartman, deciding he was to blame.

Cartman rolled his eyes,”Why do you care, Kyle? Were you worried or what?”

“No, it's just weird you missed your favorite part of the day, fatass.”

Butters gaze immediately stuck on the parka clad boy next to Cartman, who had a grin on his face as he listened to the bickering Kyle and Cartman easily started. 

He seemed fine.

At the same time Kenny glanced over at him, when locking eyes his smile turned brighter and warmer, firing up Butters heart.

Within seconds the blonde boy stood in front of Butters desk, “Hey Buttercup,” 

He placed his hands on the table and leaned over, closer to Butters. 

A quick stab in his stomach almost made Butters wide eyed. Those red, swollen eyes…The kind you only get after crying…

A fury of emotions twirled up inside Butters. 

Why had Kenny been crying?

Was he trying to hide it?

Had Cartman done something?

His whole body froze, a chilling thought creeped down his spine and he didn't know how to handle it.

What if Cartman had hurt Kenny.

When Butters didn't answer back Kenny cocked his head to the side, with an eyebrow raised. The turned up lips Butters had when he saw him disappeared and instead left him with a dead look.    
“Butters?” Kenny tried again, this time a bit uncertain.

Butters chair dropped back to the floor, pulling all attention at the sudden sound.

“ What did he do!” 

The meek voice came out stronger than anyone expected.

Kenny crocker an eyebrow as everyone else turned quiet, even Cartman and Kyle stopped their arguing. 

“Kenny, did Cartman do something to you?!” 

Kenny recoiled back at the voice. He didn't know what was happening or how to react, and the accused brunette felt the same way, only looking quizzically at the blonde.

“Butters, what are you talking about?” Kenny questioned.

Butters glared at Cartman, almost deaf to what Kenny said.

“ What the hell, Butters” the bigger guy turned completely towards the smaller as Kyle glanced his way, knowing that when Butters got angry things could quickly escalate and become ugly,”I haven't done anything?” 

Butters didn't buy it. 

Cartman wasn't to be trusted.

The blond's hands curled into fists at his sides. His brain started mixing the dreams he'd had with reality. All those times he'd seen Kenny bleed, stabbed, burned.

And dead.

This time he could do something about it. If Kenny was hurting now because of Cartman, he could be the one saving him from the pain.

Butters strode up to Cartman, facing him at almost the same height. His blue eyes almost had a shadow over them as he stared at the brunette. 

Kyle quickly took a step closer, just one more and he would be able to go in between if a fight were to break out.

Kenny's reaction was the same. He followed Butters and was close to him when Butters fists tensed up, ready to throw a punch. 

With wide eyes at the fist, Kenny managed to get a hold around the thin wrist, holding it down. “ Leo!” Kenny surprised himself when Butters real name came out, but he didn't let it wander his mind too long. His long arms wrapped around the boy like a blanket, pulling him in and holding his head to his chest.

Cartman stood still, not totally understanding what was going on. Kenny threw a glance at him and Kyle, who might had thought no one would've noticed the hold he had on Cartman's T-shirt at his waist.

If there had been any other situation he'd done that and Kenny saw, Kenny wouldn't spare them from all the gay jokes he'd make with them, but now Butters took up his mind.

The smaller blonde, started to shake just so much only Kenny could notice it. Kenny bit his lower lip, he should take Butters away from here. Away from everyone's eyes.

He looked down at the trembling boy,” Let's go, buttercup.” He whispered.

He grabbed a tight hold around Butters wrist before making his way past the others in the classroom, heading towards the door.

He didn't respond when Kyle said there was only 5 minutes left before class started.

 

“ What the hell was that?” 

The wording might sound rough but the way Kenny said them was with nothing but worry. He held his hands on Butters shoulders as he turned the boy to face him. 

The anger from just a short moment ago had expired and now there was only sad eyes looking up back at him. It stung in his heart, watching Butters having his face distorted with sadness. 

He didn't answer, his eyes flicked between Kenny and the floor. His lips trembled when they parted, trying to get some sort of reply out. 

Butters constant wandering gaze made Kenny move his hand, lightly hold Buttes chin and arched it up. 

Butters felt like he got sucked into the dark blue eyes and couldn't find it in him to look away anymore. 

“ I'm sorry,” Butters mouthed his apology, Kenny raised a brow,” I just thought he hurt you, Ken.”

The voice Butters had was so heartfilled, Kenny wished he could hold him tight and never let go. Kiss him until the day ended. But most of all, he wished Butters would remember it if he did. But the possibility was low.

“He didn't  hurt me, Buttercup,” Kenny said reassuringly, his breath tickling against Butters cheeks.

“ But you were crying, right?! And I thought- I just couldn't stay silent!” 

If Kenny said he'd been crying because of Butters, how would he react? 

A grin spread across Kenny's face, which was a bit unexpected for Butters who frowned. 

“W-what is it, Ken?”

“ Thanks for caring about me, Butters” Kenny said, holding back the storm of emotions he experienced just by looking at the sweet face in front of him. 

Butters cocked his head,” well, of course I care, Ken. You're my best friend, you know. I like you.”

It wasn't meant as anything harmful but it felt like a blow in the stomach for Kenny. He was tired of the constant replay, and the repetitive first kiss he and Butters had. But it hurt even more to not let Butters know his feelings.

The ' I like you' Butters said was the last drop needed to make Kenny's feelings overflow. 

In a instant he leaned forward, letting his lips press against Butters'.

A confused, muffled sound escaped Butters mouth when his friend initiate a kiss. His heart was close to beating out from his chest as he felt a warm sensations fill him, from toe to head.

It felt like time froze, starting again only when Kenny moved back, leaving only a few millimeters between them. 

“ Please remember,” 

Kenny's whisper was low, weak but still held so much feeling.

He cursed himself for this. Now when he out of nowhere kissed Butters it would probably confuse him.

Before Butters could say anything his lips were sealed by Kenny's lips again. Stronger and more forceful. 

The weird thing was that he wasn't afraid, he wasn't weirded out or anything. Instead he actually sought after more. 

They both wished it would never end.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> HOW WAS IT?!  
> // sorry for screaming//
> 
> So for everyone who are confused as to why Cartman is the only one knowing about Kenny’s immortality, it's basically because he drank Kenny's ashes in s5 , so like a part of him and Kenny are connected? Hope that explanation helped!  
> Feel free to leave a comment, letting me know how OOC I probably was, and/ or a kudo


End file.
